Last week on Folkwise Live (02/15/22) we got a few members of the team together to play a group game of Frantic Fanfic (and it’s free and uses a web browser to play!). This creative writing game gives players an opportunity to author parts of a fanfiction narrative based on somewhat randomized pairs of characters. Fanfiction is typically considered pieces of ammeter-styled writing based on existing characters and works of fiction. This folkloric writing genre has taken off online, and has been a source of joy for our team, especially Shirley, Chrissy, Kaitlyn, and Dom. It was fun to have an opportunity to co-narrate some silliness together!
Below are the verbatim fanfics resulting from our gameplay. Please enjoy this absolute silliness! Folkwise Live streams on Twitch every Tuesday night from 7PM to 11PM.
TITLE: The bee story FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: daisy ahlstone, roach WRITERS: heydom(Dom), shrlycn'tb (Shirley), roachuwu (Kaitlyn) RATED 18+ "OMG HORSE GIRL? DRAGON GIRL? DRAGON HORSE GIRL?" Daisy said as they rode their faithful and beautiful steed Roach in the direction of the gryfon. The head of a Canadian professor clanged against Roach's saddle as she cantored toward the hill where their foe awaited. Daisy the Witcher of Kaer Lumbus took the head of the Mage Ian Brodie after letter him die of a thousand bees stings. But he however told them the location of the Gryfon that killed their mentor, the Witcher Andrea. It was time to seek vengeance. -------------------- Roach came to a stop just outside of the gryphon's lair and Daisy quickly dismounted. Roach whinnied, snorting and pawing the ground with their hoof. Daisy rested a hand against her neck in comfort. "It's all right, I'll be back," they said, convincing themselves as much as their steed. They reached into the pack and pulled out a long dagger, inlaid with jewels. A pure silver. "They won't get away with this." Inside was a roar. -------------------- Daisy stealthily entered the cavern where the MIGHTY sounds were coming from after giving Roach one last uwu. Holding the head of Ian Brodie, his dead eyes began to fill with a strange light as they made their way through the cavern lighting the way guiding his previous student that let him get stung by a bee. There stood the Gryphon in all his might. Daisy held the head of Ian higher and screamed BEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! Suddenly Ian's mouth opened and a swarm of bees materialized
TITLE: Walk with Me? FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: ye, jim morrison WRITERS: shrlycn'tb (Shirley), b u + + (Daisy), heydom (Dom) RATED ALL AGES Ye stood silently at the bus stop, fiddling with a loose thread on their jacket. Their breath came out in silky white clouds into the cool night air. "Are you ready for this?" Ye turned, spotting Jim as he came up from the darkened path. Ye dropped the corner of their jacket, straightening up and taking a steadying breath. "Ready as I'll ever be." Jim smirked, then held out his hand. Something silver glinted in the center of his palm. Ye hesitated despite themselves. -------------------- "You play?" "not this time" Jim smirked and lowered his glasses, to get a better look at the individual before him. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt as he made an assessment. "seems chill" he thought. Jim pulled out his book of poetry drafts and began writing. "Ye said "let's get this overwith" Jim wrote a final message, handed the book over, and spit the soggy toothpick out of mouth onto the pavement. silver went into his poc -------------------- --et and Jim said an incantation in a foul eldritch tongue. "I wish I didn't drop out of college before the Dark Arts Seminar" Ye thought. Ye could hear the silver hiss as it melted thru Jim's pleather pants and into his thigh. He screamed in agony. His pupils dilated, he skin grew scales, his back broke and readjusted. "Jesus walk with me" Ye exclaimed! As the metamorphosis stopped, Jim was gone. in his place was a 20 ft reptile. "I AM THE LIZARD KING. WHO SEEKS MY ASSISTANCE?" "Lizard King, do you know who Pete D
TITLE: a night of knowledge FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: joffrey baratheon, blathers WRITERS: b u + + (Daisy), roachuwu (Kaitlyn), shrlycn'tb (Shirley) RATED ALL AGES Joff is sitting outside his room holding a knife. Down the hall walks a mysteriously feathered figure walking alongside the one who is known as the spider. Joff fills with hateful thoughts. Like the king to be he is, JOff tells the guards who are sitting him to stand aside. He swings his cape and approaches the two sniveling mummers, knife in hand. "HAULT. What new business doest thou have for me" The hodded figure, turns his head all the way around, beak trembleing, glasses shimmering "new museum polans/./........... -------------------- Joff immediately yells for the guards to surround the feathered being because museums should only be to his family's greatness, his greatness. They are not meant for more than the honoring of his glory and the divine right bestowed upon his golden brow at birth -------------------- The guards swarmed the stout figure but in a flurry, he rose straight to the ceiling, out of the reach of their swords. Joff hissed, drawing his own impotent blade as the hooded figure swooped towards him. Claws met steel as a flurry of feathers surrounded the match. Joff managed a quick cut to the underside of the museum caretaker's wing and gained enough distance to catch his breath. Wounded, the owl stumbled to the ground, breaths heavy and labored. Joff smirked, stepping forward and holding his dagger at the owls neck. "Anny last words, filthy beast?" he asked. The owl didn't respond, simply hooted before lunging for his face. The owl looked up, eyes large and yellow, expression unreadable
TITLE: I Dream of Podcasts FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: henry glassie, joe rogan WRITERS: roachuwu (Kaitlyn), heydom (Dom), b u + + (Daisy) RATED 18+ Joe Rogan once thought of himself as a man of knowledge but knew in his heart of hearts that this was FALSE. A seeker of things that he could not have he went on a great (for him) quest after some strange dreams he had of his mother from ingesting Ivermectin. This pissed off the many horse girls in the world who were judged for buying horse wormer for its actual purpose...so their 1000-plus pound babies wouldn't have worms. In this dream, he had a vision of a mustache. A great mustache. And sought to obtain the one and only Henry Glassie's facial hair... -------------------- Joe bearcrawled thru 20 miles of Brown County forest to reach Henry's praesidial fortress in east Bloomington. As he approached the manor, he first jumped in the moat. he could feel the parasites in the water surrounding him. He never would live to realize that the ivermectin kept him safe from contracting river blindness; he needed to speak to the great and powerful Lord of the Mustache. As he emerged from the muck he shouted "HOLY SHIT ARE YOU SEEING THIS?" to no one in particualr and knocked on the door -------------------- A man, taller than you'd expect, answered the door, notebook in hand and pen behind the ear. The man said "why yes, and youre late for our meeting" Joe, covered in mud and larvae, lifted himself out of the river, and entered through the wooden door. Glassie asked one question: "This dream you had. Did it involve a river?" Joe said, "how did you know I had a dream?" Glassie smiled and said "silly little podcast man. You know nothing" Joe paused before his next move, completely shocked by the power emanating from the man before himnb's upper lip. He took a final glance. Fatal move: then perish
TITLE: Sex-Men FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: andy cohen, wolverine WRITERS: heydom (Dom), roachuwu (Kaitlyn), shrlycn'tb (Shirley) RATED 18+ "Hellooo and welcome back to Watch What Happens Live I'm Andy and I'm here with the STAR of Real Houswives of Krakoa, Wolverine" winnied a man who became a multi millionaire summarizing the plots of reality shows you just watched. Logan couldn't believe thats a way a man could make a livin' in this world. "Hey Bub" Logan snorted between gulps of Labatt Blue. "Now Logan" Andy said, "in that last scene we saw that sometimes you and Cyclops sleep in the same bed when Jean is on missions?" -------------------- "and i felt NOTHING for that James Marsden wannabe. You think that's the first bed I've shared with a man, andy?" Wolverine quirked his eyebrow challenging him. "WELL, Wolverine. I just ask the questions. So, would you be willing to share a bed with me?" Wolverine snorted and goes "You're not the quirked up white boy anyone wants to have a sleepover with." Andy jokes "Not even if I bring my THC vape pen and make it all smokey and mystical? I could pour lemonade on MGK too." -------------------- Wolverine made a low humm. Maybe I can consider it, but you gotta prove something to me first." "well sure," Andy said. He wasn't sure if the x-man was playing along or taking him seriously, not expecting his offer to be taken at all really. "You gotta show me," Wolverine said, leaning forward, canines flashing in the studio lights. "That you're really goated with the sauce." -- The next morning, Andy stood in his bathroom, splashing water on his face before gripping the sink and staring at his reflection. Dark brusies blossomed on his neck as Wolverine continued snoozing in the bed only a few feet away. "Damn it Andy, you said you'd never fall in love again."
TITLE: Old Mc'Loki Had a Farm... FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: loki, chicken WRITERS: b u + + (Daisy), heydom (Dom), roachuwu (Kaitlyn) RATED 18+ Very powerful tricky NB Individual is on a farm. They look at their field of pasture-raised grass fed chickens. "I love my farm life. So peaceful." They paused and thought a moment "I suppose I do miss the trickster life I once lived" One of their chickens, One-Eye, walked up to them. Loki looked into their eye, contemplatively. They lingered; studying each other. Suddenly, the chicken's feathers began to molt in quick succession... -------------------- "CHILD!" the chicken Roared, "ARE YOU THE GOD OF FARMERS?!" the simple poultry farmer dropped to their knees. "Father, i no longer have the temperament to cause hi-jinx and do tomfoolery. I want to raise my birds!" "LOKI" the all-father bellowed "the gods of Asgard must not shirk their destinies! Do you recall that phase where Thor wanted to be god of affordable retail footwear?" Their father had a point. Thor was a blundering idiot, and while he did have the capital to be able to mark off some quality Cole Haans, it was not his desti -------------------- ...destiny. But what was destiny? Was it written in the stars or told in some prophecy at birth by a blissed out oracle? This NB writer-chicken farmer god wanted nothing more than the simple life. To be with his smart and devious chickens...a plot hatches in Loki's brain like a fertilized chicken egg. The chickens and them could take over the world and make Thor their chicken-feed beyotch carrier. all those beefed up muscles had to be good for something. ***Green Acres theme music plays**** Green acres is the place to beeeeeee, farm living is the life for meeeee. Thor tromps through the mud in his leathers and boots hauling grain as loki looks at his happy chickens.
TITLE: Catch me FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: the red amongus man, prince WRITERS: shrlycn'tb (Shirley), b u + + (Daisy), heydom (Dom) RATED ALL AGES The concert was loud and the bodies in the crowd were pressed close. The red amongus man struggled to keep his footing as the crowd cheered and danced along to the music on stage. He was already late but still tried to struggle to the front to catch a glimpse of the performance. "I knew I should have come earlier," he thought to himself as he tried to squeeze around a pair of lather-clad spectators. There was an uproar and red lost his footing, plummeting to the ground until-- "Are you okay?" -------------------- Red Amongus man looked up from the cement floor. "Yeah... I think so" It was Purple. A man he hadn't seen in days. Last time they were together was during the great Chrissy Widmayer Betrayal tm. The two rose together and looked towards the stage. But something was off about the iridescence of the performer. The music was clear, polished, and captivatingly glittery. Something was off about it... it all seemed too perfect that Purple and Red were reunited here. Suddenly, a glitch in the lighting revealed something no one was prepared for - Prince, standing before the crowd, was no Price at all - an Impostor! Red yurned to purple, eye wide, about to shriek -------------------- Prince hit a high note and stabbed Red in the back and walked backstage. He passed Blue, who had at least a foot on him vertically. "What up lil cousin you seen a bizzody?" Purple had to hold his tongue. The other Anmoogusmen could be anywhere listening to this. But at the last second, camaraderie overcame strategy. Prince leaned in... "Snoop, I just killed Red in the stage. Chat popped the fuck off." suddenly the siren rang. As the crew assembled at the table, Off-white, 7 feet tall in his top hat, spoke: "i have reason to believe that not only are Blue and Purple the impostors...but they are the pop star prince and the rapper snoop dogg" "HOW DARE 2U "
TITLE: big chungus meets god (and yes, god is a woman) FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: big chungus, dolly parton WRITERS: roachuwu (Kaitlyn), shrlycn'tb (Shirley), b u + + (Daisy) RATED 18+ Deep in the mountains of Tennessee, a wabbit so so big made his way to the big city of Pidgen Ford with nothing but his bunny tail and a dweam to meet Dolly. He tried hop hop hopping but he was so BIG and behind on his workouts because he loved eating (like all of us). So he stuck his lil tail tail out on the road and gave it a good wiggle knowing the white of it couldn't be missed and hi -------------------- tailed out down the way to the music hall she was performing at that evening. As he maid his way down the sidewalk the crowds grew thicker and rowdier as everyone tried to catch a glimpse of the illustrious Dolly Parton. Not paying all that much attention to his surroundings he accidentally bumped into a pair of burley bikers, who turned and looked down at him with dark scowels. "What are you huh? Some kind of cat?" "N-nwow sirs, I'm a wabbit UwU," he said. "Ah, perfect for an after concert stew then." -------------------- Dolly's bodyguard wooked eeriwy famiwiar. Could it be? His head was bawld, shotgun in hand, and brow forced into an angwy V. He hid behiwnd Dolly while she looked hungerwy at the spwecimin. Big Chungus had fownd himsewf in a situwation. What would you do in a tiwme wike this, Achatemy? Brweak fowrf wall? What compewls u to keep weeding fis stowry of unaldutuwated howor? Twurn back whiwe u stiw can... Chungus does now wast fowever in fis world... this is, afterwall, the internet
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